Fucked

There is this feelin that is slowly uprising in my stomach and my body is hating me for it. I need sydnie here whith me i need her here with me now. Im getting really sick i havent eatin in a few days now im feeling slow, and moods are starting to change, but i simply cant eat Last night was a horrible night thats all i have to say about it, but last night has seemed to turn in to today, due to the fact that i got maybe and hour of sleep. I have been worried sick and throwing up nothing but acid, and vile. My body cringes at the thought of doing it again but it makes me do it. Those word she said set me off the acid turned to blood and the vomit came up more purfusly. You know like in a movie when some one get shot in the stomach the throw up blood it was like that. My headed started to spin and my chest sank, while my body colapsed i laid there on the floor for an hour. Just crying from the pain, of throwing up, of this distance, of the thought that something may have happend to her.
I have only thrown up blood one other time thats when i found out that my grandpa had passed away and it was just so hard for me to bare and my body was shutting down. I couldnt bare to lose him and i suppose this is the same i couldnt bare to lose her. Shes my life soul everything, i wanna get married to her, have kids with her, and have our truely happy ending.
We shoudnt have to worry all three of the people who were here that hurt us are now gone for good and we do not have to deal with them anymore. We are living our lives now.
Last of all i just wanted to say i love you sydnie